Hello, this is stockbroker john how can I help you.
Hi, I’d like to buy some stocks.
Ok, great.
Which would you recommend?
Well we have a good telecom.
And how much money is the company making now?
What do you mean?
Well, I’m assuming it is a functioning business that makes and sells a product at a profit.
I think you’ve dialed the wrong number sir. Businesses don’t make products they are merely a vehicle to enrich the insiders and shareholders. You see they operate at a loss but are financed through debt offerings to ‘investors’. If the demand for this debt is not wanted by investors the federal government lends them as much money as needed to continue in business enriching the investors and shareholders.
I see…So I should become a shareholder?
Yes.
And how long should I hold the stocks?
Forever. You see the fed creates the money by typing larger money numbers on the screen. Then they put the money directly into the business’s bank account. They will continue until someone stops them, which is never. Until then, you will grow filthy rich buying the stonks.
But isn’t this harmful to society?
Ha Ha you fool, of course it is…but nobody cares about society or the quality of life. All that matters is you get yours, who cares if everyone else is broke and poor.
That doesn’t sound like a great philosophy, or a pleasant place to live. But at least I will have mine, and can sneer at the people below me. Which company do you recommend?
All of them. The fed pays them all. You must buy now, don’t hesitate. You must buy all the things. Are you on your computer now?
Yes.
I recommend you hit the buy button with both your hands and your feet. The share offering will only be available until the fund is allocated, then you will not be an investor in this get rich quick scheme scam company. You cannot afford to wait, you will miss this opportunity. Trust me, they know exactly how to extract free money from the government. Are you hitting the buy button now sir?
Yes, with both hands and feet. I am now a shareholder.
Great job sir, you are now a great investor, wise beyond your years. You may go back to watching tv and voting.